On hold......

"Hello, this is Life, can you hold please??"

So, our process is on hold again. Unfortunately, IVF is expensive and our insurance doesn't cover a lick of it. I think we need to move to a state that mandates coverage!!! Anyway, our physician requires that all of the costs need to be paid up front prior to starting treatment. Since we don't have that kind of money in our pockets (darn!), we applied for a loan and unfortunately got denied. "While your income is impressive, it is too much of a liability if you get pregnant and have to have time off with a reduced income." What a bunch of BS! And there is no way they would lend us 3 times that amount to adopt! So where does that lead us? Saving, hoping, praying and doing things the old fashion way. We'll keep you posted.

Change of Plans

Here's the scoop. We had filled out the application, paid the application $$$, filled out MORE papers and had the initial interview. Well, we began hitting some bumps in the road, even some pot holes. Here's a break down:

-When calling work to find out benefits for me for adoption, I found that I get no paid time off or disability pay after we get the baby. Since I am the primary earner, that would be an impossibility for all the expenses a baby (and life) entails. So, we would have to borrow more money for that and that is just becoming unaffordable at this time.

-If the baby came before my 1 yr anniversary with my company (June) I would not qualify for FMLA and my leave would not guarantee my job back and would not guarantee medical coverage while I was off. Not cool with a newborn!

-And to be honest, my heart was not in it as much as I thought it was. I felt like we were giving up on the opportunity to have our own children. To be pregnant, to give birth, to nurse, to have a birth story and be able to empathize with my own daughter as she goes through it are all things that I (we) want to experience. I know that may be selfish, but since there are still options for us, we should take them and re-visit adoption if need be. I am almost 30 and I know as I continue to get older, my risks will increase, so I want to try now when our chances are greater.

So, with that in mind, we met with our RE yesterday. He said that he believes the reason we did not have success with the IUI was due to the sperm count, as I was producing good eggs with medication. He said that if I was his daughter, he would recommend IVF and not bother with another IUI. He says there is no reason it would not work for us. After a long meeting and talking with him, and talks between ourselves, and many prayers, we have decided to try IVF. The cost is considerably less and the financial risk of adoption is too great for us right now. I feel very good about this and am excited to get thing underway.

So, the plan is to hopefully try IVF in December, and shoot for a September 2009 baby. I have to have an HSG and we both have to do blood work. We are hoping to schedule next week, as we have to put a deposit down. Please keep us in your prayers and we will continue to keep you updated.

Papers, papers and more papers!

You would think that we were buying a house with all the paperwork we have to fill out and sign. The only difference is that these papers are more like a job interview on paper. "What are your best personality qualities?" "What will make you a good parent?" "Why do you think you should adopt?" What kills me is that they don't give these questionnaires to ALL people before they have children! I think a lot of people would fail! None-the-less, we have most of it filled out and will be turning it in next week. Then we wait for the next step. Hurry up and wait. Maybe I should change the blog title......

First Interview

Our first interview with the Adoption Social Worker (ASW, as I will call her) was on October 7th. Her name is Carol and she is one of the reasons we chose Bethany. She is adopted herself and is a birth-mother who gave up a child 17 years ago. So she is very familiar with the whole process, from all aspects. The interview went well and it was mainly to go over all the steps in the process in detail and give us a boat load of papers to fill out and sign. It is going to be a long process!

The Application

On October 2nd we submitted our application (and large fee!). We got a call back almost immediately! We had an interview set up for October 7th.

The Decision

After multiple failed infertility treatments, we were advised that the next step would be in-vitro fertilization. After thinking long and hard and many long talks, we decided that the physical and emotional pain we have endured over the past 2 years has been enough. We did not want to spend several more thousand dollars on another "maybe". So, at this point we had decided to pursue adoption.

The thought had crossed out mind 1 year ago, and had actually gotten a great deal of information from several agencies. But, then we ended up pregnant, and then a miscarriage. We thought it could happen again, but alas, we are still at the same place we were 2 years ago.

After much research, meetings and talking to social workers, we have decided to use Bethany Christian Services for our adoption needs. They are a nationwide company, based out of Grand Rapids and have a local office here in Kalamazoo. We are looking to adopt a domestic infant. They place an average of 8-10 babies a year and have a pool of less than a dozen waiting couples. So, the odds are in our favor to be chosen soon. Please pray for a swift process.