I have officially decided to stop breastfeeding. Well, actually pumping. I have not been "technically" breast feeding for some time, as Lucas never took to the breast and Megan drooled out half of what she sucked in. I have been pumping, though. I have been able to keep up enough to give the kids 1/2 breast milk and 1/2 formula at each feeding. Over the last couple of weeks, though, my supple has seemed to dwindle. To make matters worse, when I went back to work, I am not able to pump as often as I would like. Sure, I could force myself to up and leave the department, but being in the ER, it is not terribly responsible to leave when you have active patients. And as busy as we are, there is NEVER a time that we don't have patients. And when I am at home, the last thing I want to be doing is pumping when I can be spending much needed time with my kids and/or husband. It just got to be more burden than it seemed worth.
So, I decided to stop. I felt like a bad mom, though. I know full and well, that I am not, but there is a sense of guilt and failure when you stop breast feeding before you intended. I wanted to use breast milk for at least 6 months, but I guess 2 months with twins isn't half bad! I have to be grateful for the time I was able to do it. I talked to my mom, too, and she formula fed all of us and I turned out okay, right?! I love my kids dearly, but at this point, I feel the time I can actually spend with them is a million times more valuable than the time I spend pumping for them!
2 comments:
Stop the guilt. Many people don't even make it that long with 1 baby. They will be just fine and still love you. And by the way, they will still become obnoxious teenagers whether you nursed or bottle fed them!
You did great Melissa, and made the right decision for you and your family. :)
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